Eddie Smith: The Depth Charge

Eddie Smith is enjoying a little alcohol-inspired unconsciousness on Shubunkin Delta when he dreams he’s contacted by characters who only exist in two dimensions, with a commission to find their creator.

Trusting to his usual investigative methods – declaring in a loud, confident voice that he’s not taking the case and trusting that Fate can never resist the opportunity to kick him in the kidneys – Eddie wakes up on a bluish, greenish world where nothing ever makes sense. His mission – to find the creator and sue them into a whole other space-time continuum – is hampered by the fact that whereas on any responsible planet, creative imagination is only practiced by those with at least a Category 3 license – on this weird, wet planet, it’s practiced willy-nilly by practically everyone, with no regard for the consequences of their reckless creativity.

Meanwhile, the ‘characters’ have followed Eddie to the world of their creator. ‘The Villain’, ‘The Hero,’ ‘The Heroine’ and ‘The Little Dog Too’ have plans of their own. Trying to act outside the parameters of the two dimensions they’ve been allowed, they realise the only way they will ever be free is by killing their creator – and all other irresponsible writers too.

Can Eddie resolve his crisis of conscience – saving the lives of a world full of bad writers vs…y’know…The Money – in time to stop his clients proving that while the pen may be mighty as all-get-out, a sword in the guts beats all-comers?