Cool Beans

You know how it is – you lose a job, your girlfriend leaves you, your cat moves in next door, you go and and get blink stinking drunk. You wake up in the morning with a beanstalk at the bottom of your garden.

Jamie McFarlane knows how it is. What he doesn’t know is where the beanstalk came from, where it goes, what’s at the top of it…or what the Council are going to say.

When people start getting killed by golden eggshells flung from somewhere very high, Jamie worries that the Council might not say anything at all, but that they might be able to lay hands on a couple of flaming torches and a pitchfork.

Then, just when he thinks things can’t get any worse, a fairy turns up in his kitchen.

A fairy named Tubal Cain.

As Jamie and Tubal Cain climb the beanstalk into the sky and the Council starts its angry march, more and more stalks begin to appear all over the country. Then all over the world.

What will Tubal Cain find at the top of the beanstalk? And when he finds out, will he live long enough to tell anyone else?